White Dust
by Himizu1
Summary: Yay... Written in the middle of the night on 4-20 (which my sister and I were not high while writing this). An interview with the Weiß and Schwarz guys behind the scenes...


White Dust: Weiß Kreuz Behind the Scenes  
  
camera zooms in on two girls  
  
Himizu: And here we are! I'm Himizu!  
  
Tenki: And I'm Tenki, with our new documentary.thing.  
  
Himizu: White Dust: Wei  
  
Tenki: And I'm Tenki, with our new documentary.thing.  
  
Himizu: White Dust: Weiß Kreuz Behind the Scenes.  
  
Tenki: (does spirit fingers and hums Twilight Zone theme)  
  
Himizu: Obviously, we must interview the best character of Weiß first!  
  
Tenki: (jumping forward) Yohji!  
  
Himizu: AHEM! As I said, the BEST of Weiß! Ran Fujimiya! The brains behind the group! The nice haired sexy physiqued, big footed-And you know what they say about a guy with big feet!  
  
Tenki: Big socks!  
  
Himizu: (sweatdrops).Yes, that's it. And, back to the subject, piercing eyed, nice assed, big di-  
  
Tenki: And speaking of the devil! Hiya Ran!  
  
Himizu: WHAT? WHERE?!  
  
Tenki: (points behind Himizu)  
  
Himizu: (turns around)  
  
Ran: Ahem. Was I interrupting?  
  
Tenki: How does Himizu know all that stuff about you? I mean your *radio edit* size-  
  
Himizu: SHUT UP! (throws microphone at Tenki's head)  
  
Tenki: But you said-  
  
Himizu: I SAID shut up!  
  
Ran: I thought this was supposed to be about me! (does sexy pose)  
  
Himizu: (blushing) Yes! It IS supposed to be about you! Tenki: No! It's Weiß Kreuz Behind the Scenes, not Ran Fujimiya Under His Clothes! CoughcoughSLUTcoughcough!  
  
Ran: Excuse me!  
  
camera zooms in on Himizu's body  
  
Ran: (glaring at camera man) Persia, we've talked about this before.  
  
camera goes back to their faces  
  
Ran: Okay, do you wanna sit down anytime soon? I don't have all day. I have things to see and people to do!  
  
Tenki: (glaring at Ran) Persia's just doing his job!  
  
Persia: Oh yea! (zooms in on Tenki)  
  
Tenki: Hey! (beats Persia over head with purse) Stop!  
  
Ran: Ahem! Back to ME please!  
  
Tenki: And you! You're a lot nicer on the show!  
  
Himizu: (hits Tenki and watches her run away)  
  
Ran: (smiles slightly) Would you like to sit down?  
  
Himizu: Thank you. So, may we begin the interview?  
  
Ran: Sure, but could you get off of my lap before we start?  
  
Himizu: Heheh.I had to try.  
  
Ran: (Glares at her)  
  
Himizu: Ahem.Well, what's it like being the star of Weiß?  
  
Ran: Well the attentions a little much, but I'd get that anyway.  
  
Himizu: Why do you think that?  
  
Ran: Just look at me!  
  
camera goes in on Ran's ass  
  
Ran: I told you to stop that Persia!  
  
Persia: Gomen!  
  
Himizu: Could you show me around the sets for the other cast members? Ran: What? Don't you wanna be with me?  
  
Himizu: Are you asking me on a date?  
  
Ran: Would you like that?  
  
Himizu: Would you?  
  
Persia: AHEM! Time is of the essence!  
  
Ran: Yea, yea.I suppose you'll wanna find your friend?  
  
Himizu: I guess, she's not getting paid for nothing.  
  
kitchen area  
  
Himizu and Ran: (enter hearing singing)  
  
Farf: Jesus loves me, yes he does! Cuz the bible tells me so!  
  
Tenki: (claps with beat, smiling)  
  
Nagi: Jei! The cookies are done!  
  
Tenki and Farf: Yay!  
  
Ran: What the *radio edit* are you doing?  
  
Tenki, Farf and Nagi: Cooking!  
  
Himizu: (sweatdrops)  
  
Farf: (in apron with 'Kiss Me I'm Irish' printed on front) Would you like to try? They're fresh and yummy for the tummy!  
  
Nagi: They are, they are!  
  
Ran: Jesus Christ!  
  
Farf: 'Tis Sunday! The day of God!  
  
Ran: It's Wednesday.  
  
Farf: EVERY DAY is a day of God!  
  
Ran and Himizu: (sweatdrop)  
  
Farf: This little light of mine! I'm gonna let it shine!  
  
Tenki and Nagi: (clap to beat)  
  
Nagi: The sashimi is burning!  
  
**sashimi is actually raw fish. Why they're cooking sashimi.we're still not sure**  
  
Farf: Oh darn!  
  
Ran: (laughs evilly)  
  
Himizu: (blushes at sexiness)  
  
Tenki: I'm sorry Farfello!  
  
Farf: It's Jei!  
  
Himizu: I think we should go.and.yea.  
  
Tenki: But I don't wanna! (drops on floor kicking and hitting ground) And you can't make me!  
  
Ran: I think I see Yohji.  
  
Tenki: What?! (gets all perky)  
  
Ran: (seatdrops) Come on.little brat.  
  
in vacant room with incense and candles burning  
  
Yohji: (on floor meditating, whispering under breath fastly) I am not afriad of girls, I am not afraid of raging fan girls)  
  
Tenki: (in raging fan girl voice) YOHJI!!!!!!  
  
Yohji: (screams and backs in corner, grabbing inhaler)  
  
Tenki: (in shock) Woa.  
  
Yohji: Don't get any closer or I'll. I'll-  
  
Tenki: You'll what? (glomps him)  
  
Yohji: COODIES! (screams like little girl)  
  
Tenki: You won't be able to get over your fears unless you face them! FACE ME!  
  
Yohji: (looking hesitantly at her and turns away quickly) No!  
  
Tenki: Yohji's no fun. Let's find Schu and Brad!  
  
Ran: Jesus Christ.Himizu, can you tell your little friend to make her damned mind up?  
  
Himizu: For a small price.  
  
Ran: Oh? I like the sound of that.  
  
Himizu: I bet you'd like the sound of me-  
  
Tenki: Don't worry! It's not possible! (hops, and runs away)  
  
Ran and Himizu: (sweatdrop)  
  
Himizu: We better find her before anything happens.  
  
Ran: (under breath) Dammit!  
  
Himizu: Huh?  
  
Ran: Eep!  
  
in a small dark room  
  
Tenki: (opens door, ignoring the smoke pouring out, and points at Omi sitting at his computer)  
  
Omi: (taking long inhale, making circles in the air with the smoke)  
  
Tenki: (goes over and looks over Omi's shoulder) Whatcha doin?  
  
Omi: Sh.Busy.(looks back and doible takes)  
  
Tenki: (reading computer page) 101 Ways to Have Sex-  
  
Omi: Huh? It.It's not what you think! It. It's a pop-up ad!  
  
Tenki: (stupidly) Then why are there no other windows open?  
  
Omi: (reads a few off of the list and quickly hits the power button) So.What's your name?  
  
Tenki: Well my name's Tenki. I'm a big fan of yours.  
  
Omi: (under breath) Score!  
  
camera goes back to Ran and Himizu  
  
Ran: Little cum bucket.He's at it again.  
  
Himizu: Well, it all works out in the end, she's a cum guzzling gutter slut.  
  
Ran: (whispering too low for microphones to pick up)  
  
Himizu: (goes wide eyed) That's.kinky. camera goes back to Omi and Tenki  
  
Omi: So.you like bud?  
  
Tenki:.Bud?  
  
Omi: Take a big huff of this. (hands joint to Tenki)  
  
Tenki: Okay! (takes a hit and a few minutes later starts giggling uncontrollably)  
  
Omi: Yes! (does had motion thingy)  
  
camera goes back to Ran and Himizu  
  
Himizu: Is there anywhere else we can go?  
  
Ran: Yea. (puts arm around Himizu) Right this way.  
  
video arcade set  
  
Brad: I think you beat me.  
  
Schu: I-I' sorry Bradley.  
  
Brad: It's alright. So.What do you say about you and me.my bath and a bottle of wine?  
  
Ran and Himizu walk in around here  
  
Schu: You know I'm not like that. (twitches and backs away uncomfortably)  
  
Himizu: Woa! Gay sex!  
  
Schu: I'm not like that!  
  
Brad: That's not what you were saying last night!  
  
Schu: P-please stop. You know about my issues with homosexuals.(backs away further)  
  
Brad: I'm sorry.How about a hug? (opens arms)  
  
Schu: NO!  
  
Ran: (kicks Pacman machine) Give me back my *radio edit* quarter back, you piece of *radio edit*!  
  
sounds from other room  
  
Tenki: Omi! They're gonna hear us!  
  
Omi: Sh.It doesn't matter.  
  
banging continues  
  
Schu: C-can we please leave?  
  
Persia: I think I'd like to stay here.  
  
Ran: (glares)  
  
Persia: Oh all right.  
  
Brad: But I wanna stay too!  
  
Himizu: Come ON!  
  
flower shop set  
  
Schu: It's so nice in here.  
  
Himizu: Eh.  
  
Brad: (sighs) Can I go back.?  
  
Ran: (waits outside set, getting puffy eyed)  
  
Himizu: What's wrong, Ran? Don't you love me anymore?  
  
Ran: (wide eyed) What? I never sa-HEY! (comes in slowly)  
  
Himizu: So.I've basically gotten no where with my interview, so let's begin with the questions.  
  
Persia: Tenki got somewhere.  
  
Ran: You're not supposed to talk! (nose stuffed up, begins sneezing uncontrollably)  
  
Brad: (leaves through back exit)  
  
Himizu: So Schuldig, what do you think about your character?  
  
Schu: Well, personally I don't like him.  
  
Himizu: Why not?  
  
Schu: I'm a homophobe.  
  
Himizu: Oh? Why is that?  
  
Schu: Well, actually Ke-I mean..I mean I didn't-  
  
Ran: It's okay Schu. The writers wouldn't have let you get any further than that anyway.  
  
Schu: I know.  
  
muffled sounds from across studio  
  
Tenki: Brad! Omi! Faster! Oh-AH!  
  
Himizu: Well, we know where Brad went.  
  
Ran: I can show you a place where we can go.  
  
Himizu: Oh really?  
  
Ran: Yea.(pulls her closer)  
  
Persia: Oooh.Looks like I might get some action after all.  
  
Schu: Uhh.I think I'll be going! (runs off)  
  
Himizu: Well.I still have one more person to find anyway.  
  
Ran: Damn it.  
  
Ran and Himizu begin to leave  
  
Tenki: (walks in breathing heavy, hair messed up) Hey.Guys.  
  
Himizu: We're going to find Ken.  
  
Tenki: Oooh!  
  
Ran: (glares at Tenki) Stupid slut.  
  
Tenki: Hey! I'm not gonna take that-Oh.Nevermind!  
  
Himizu: (sweatdrops)  
  
Ran: Let's go find Ken.(sarcastically) Yay.  
  
in window facing playground  
  
Ken: (with video camera) Yes my little children. Your innocence is still untouched by the factor of society. (slides hand down pants slowly)  
  
Ran: (sneaks up behind Ken) Whatcha doing?  
  
Ken: Eep! (buttons pants back up)  
  
Tenki: What are all of these videos Ken? (reads title on one) Sunny Day, Sheer Shirt.?  
  
Ken: Uhh.Let's put that back.Please?  
  
Tenki: Okay!  
  
Ken: How old are you again?  
  
Tenki: I'm only sixteen.  
  
Ken: (smiling) That's nice.  
  
Ran: (whispering incoherently to Himizu)  
  
Himizu: (looks at Ran and then Ken) Ew! Tenki, you might wanna take a second thought about that!  
  
Ken: Why whatever do you mean? (innocently)  
  
Tenki: Yea! What do you mean? (stupidly)  
  
Ran: (sweatdrops)  
  
Ken: So.What's your name?  
  
Tenki: I'm Tenki.  
  
Ken: So. Would you like to go to the park?  
  
Tenki: I'd love to! The swings are my favorite!  
  
Ken: Mine's the teeter-totters.  
  
Tenki: I like those too!  
  
Ken: I can show you a natural teeter-totter.  
  
Tenki: Okay!  
  
Persia: Time equals money! Get back to the kitchen!  
  
Ran and Himizu: (making out in corner)  
  
Ran: (hand up Himizu's shirt) Huh?  
  
Himizu: Get back to bitchin?  
  
Ran: Let's go so we can get back to what really matters.  
  
Himizu: Heh.Ok.  
  
back in kitchen  
  
Farf: (with microphone) Our God is an awesome God he raised from heaven above with wis-  
  
Ran: (throws Ken's camera at his head) SHUT UP!  
  
Ken: No! That was gonna go in my spank bank!  
  
Tenki: I'll be in your spank bank.whatever that is.  
  
Himizu: Too bad! It's time for us to leave! (Ran's hand still in her shirt)  
  
Tenki: Aww!  
  
Himizu: We'll see you next time!  
  
Tenki: With the Suzaku and Seiryuu Schichi Seishi!  
  
Himizu: I'm Himizu!  
  
Tenki: And I'm Tenki!  
  
Farf: And I'm John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmit!  
  
Nagi: His name is my name too!  
  
Schu and Yohji: Whenever I go out-  
  
Ran: Shut the fuck up!!!!  
  
Yohji: Where'd the censoring go?  
  
Himizu: We ran out of money.  
  
screen goes black  
  
Ran: Did you forget to pay the light bills again?  
  
Nagi: It wasn't me!  
  
Schu: I gave it to Yohji!  
  
Yohji: I gave it to Brad!  
  
Brad: I gave it to Farf!  
  
Farf: I gave it to.Oh darn, let me think.Ran!  
  
Ran: Oh.Here it is in my pocket!  
  
Himizu: Well, that's all for now, stay tuned for updates!  
  
two months later  
  
*** Ran and Himizu ran away with the bill money only to return 2 days later.broke. *** Yohji still hasn't gotten over his fear of girls, yet is not homosexual. He is now in therapy with blow up dolls and has an series of incidents of them.popping. *** Ken was arrested for swimming nude at a children's pool party. Tenki is still attempting to make bail. *** Omi overdosed on Viagra. A still unidentified white substance was found around him, while Tenki claims to know what it is by taste testing. *** Bradley is still horny. Lonely.and very, very horny. *** Farf and Nagi are attempting to start a cooking show called Cooking With God *** Schu was institutionalized for attempting to murder Brad under charges of temporary insanity. *** **** *** This is Persia signing off. If you're lonely, call me at 555-DUST. 


End file.
